The Blue Wonder

I was thinking of Katie recently when a random memory surfaced - that of her old trusty car, the Blue Wonder. The picture above is a somewhat accurate representation found on the Internet. The Wonder was driven off into the sunset long before the advent of digital photography so this photo will have to do. The Blue Wonder was no ordinary college student beater car. First of all it had a name...something my two-tone Ford Escort never warranted. Secondly it was a powder blue Toyota Corona. That is not a typo; the make was actually a Corona, not a Corolla. This was a source of confusion anytime the Wonder needed service. Once when a new windshield was in order the glass company brought one for a Corolla despite Katie's best attempts to make them understand what kind of car they would find when they arrived. The Blue Wonder had seen better days by the time it became Katie's. I don't know for sure, but I suspect it was the Guzik family car at one point in time. In its day it was probably somewhat of a luxurious automobile. It had plush, velvety, baby blue interior and if I'm not mistaken, power windows and locks. My first memory of the Blue Wonder is that is smelled faintly of sour milk. The story behind the smell has been forgotten but I think many attempts were made to rid the car of the odor, to no avail. The body of the Wonder had spots of bondo, which only added to its character and the engine made interesting noises. This car shuttled us many places during our college years. Trips back and forth to St. John's, rides into St. Cloud for groceries, road trips to the cities for various types of amusement and also to visit the Guzik home. Whenever the Blue Wonder was parked in the driveway, Wally made sure to check the oil and the tires and give it a clean bill of health before we girls piled into it again and headed for our next stop. If I recall correctly there was also a medallion or picture of a saint on the back of the sun visor. Probably St. Christopher, the patron saint of travel, to protect us in our comings and goings. The new found freedom of college was definitely enhanced by our ability to take to the open road, compliments of Katie and her Blue Wonder. We were never sure if we trusted it fully to get us from point A to point B but I don't recall there ever being an incident. For that I thank St. Christopher, and of course Wally. -Kay

You Never

You never said I'm leaving
You never said goodbye

You were gone before I knew it,

And only God knew why

A million times I needed you,

A million times I cried

If Love alone could have saved you,

You never would have died

In Life I loved you dearly

In death I love you still

In my heart you hold a place,

That no one could ever fill

It broke my heart to lose you,

But you didn't go alone

For part of me went with you,

The day God took you home.

-Matt

Bubble Fight Katie

I have so many wonderful memories that Katie helped create for me and my family. Here is the one that earned Katie the nickname "Bubble Fight Katie" with my kids.



Katie came to spend the weekend with us in Eveleth a few years back. When she arrived my daughters were upstairs playing in the bathtub. Katie put down her backpack and immediately headed up the stairs to go and say hello to the kids. They had been asking "when is Katie going to be here" all day so as soon as they saw her I heard the laughter begin. After a couple of minutes I heard the jets on the bathtub turn on and Katie's mischievous laugh accompanied by the laughter of the kids echoed down the stairway. The laughter continued for a few minutes and knowing Katie to be, well, Katie I figured I better go upstairs and check things out for myself. After all, I didn't want to miss out on whatever fun Katie had conjured up. As I rounded the corner in the hallway I was met with a wall of bubbles up to my waist. Katie was standing in the entry to the bathroom and she was covered in bubbles. The girls were still in the tub. The bubbles had risen above their heads by this point but that hadn't stopped them. Katie and the girls continued to sling bubbles at each other and laughing hysterically. The kids never forgot that moment and to this day my daughters refer to her as bubble fight Katie.

It seems as if 4 years has passed by in an instant. I can see Mom at her last party, jingling all the way on the bus that Katie rented. I remember burying her on New Years Eve, missing the sparkle and joy in her eyes forever.

I can see Dad talking about the fact that he had very little time left, perhaps 3 years, he felt in his heart. Every moment was a precious one. Every day a joy to be with him. In that time we were able to spend, we all became so close, spending time that most don't take the time to do. Our lives were entwined in our love for our parents and for each other. We shared the good and the bad, laughing and crying. I have so many precious memories ... from eating Thai food together to singing Karyoke with the "Pointer sisters review", which would not have been complete without a tambourine. We spent many days at the hospital and many nights crying ourselves to sleep.

We watched helplessly as our parents died in front of our eyes. We grieved together, as a family. We worked together. We went through every scrap of our childhood and tried to come to grips with what had happened.

The absolute overwhelming loss of Katie is impossible to explain. It is impossible to fathom.

Katie, as you so often told your closest friend, you are our rock. We miss you more than we can say, and we sit and ponder what could have been.

Every night I look at my home and think of you, laughing, crying, talking, and discussing life. You were wise beyond your years and your influence will go on forever.

I love you.

Jean

A sad anniversary....

Four years ago today, we lost mom. You, Jean and I spent those last weeks with her caring for her and talking for hours and hours. Over the past four years, we gathered to spend time with or care for dad. Again, talking for hours and hours. In both cases, we had time to say our good byes. To take some time to come to grips with what was happening. You were taken from us so suddenly. We had no time to brace ourselves for the loss we would feel....

Today is a sad anniversary. Mom's death was so difficult. Dad's was so very sad, but he was so ready to go and be with mom and with God. Your passing was devasting. The grief I feel is so very profound... I do find some comfort that I know you are all together.

Be with mom and dad and find peace and comfort together with them and all of the angels and saints in heaven. I love and miss you all deeply. -- Mary

My Christmas Wish

How do I stop wishing we had you back? I doubt I ever can or will. After reading your brother's lovely post about your first Christmas in heaven I am again reminded that you are in a place more beautiful, more perfect, than human minds can fully comprehend. It is selfish of me to wish you could be here again. After seeing what you have seen I know you wouldn't want to leave, nor would I want to take you away from that. As much as I know and am reminded you are "here" with us still, in my selfishness I want more. I want to be able to talk to you and laugh with you and ask you for advice. I want to verify memories with you...ask you if things really happened the way I think they did because in many cases you are the only other one who knows. I want to have lunch with you and go Christmas shopping. Even though we both would enjoy the lunch way more than the shopping. Remember the time we both tried to cram all of our Christmas shopping into one day at the Mall of America and without bringing any bags to the car? We were so crabby by the end we barely had words. I want to call you and discuss the recipes from the last episode of Top Chef. I want to make plans with you. I want to hear about trips you want to take and restaurants you want to try. I want to bask in the glow of the wonderful friendship we had. The kind that was always exactly what it needed to be: us leaning on each other and figuring out life's obstacles together with plenty of smiles and laughter to keep us sane. Instead I will hold you in my heart, dear friend. I will take you with me wherever I go. I will whisper to you in quiet moments and talk out loud to you like you can hear me. I will smile when something reminds me of you. When I see a green Prius I will say hello as if it is you in the driver seat. I will keep you with me even though you are so far away. I will never let you go. My Christmas wish is that all of us who love you and miss you so desperately can feel a heavenly peace on that blessed day and can feel your presence with us as we fondly remember you on our first Christmas apart. -Kay

My First Christmas in Heaven

MY FIRST CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below

With tiny lights, like Heaven’s stars, reflecting on the snow

The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear

For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear

But the sounds of music can’t compare

with the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,

For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart

But I am not so far away, we really aren’t apart.

So be happy for me, dear ones, you know I hold you dear.

And be glad I’m spending Christmas

with Jesus Christ this year.

I sent you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above.

I sent you each a memory of my undying love.

After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold

It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do

For I can’t count the blessing or love he has for each of you

So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear

Remember, I am spending Christmas

with Jesus Christ this year.

( by Author Unknown)

Your bro Matt